The last couple of weeks have been very hard for me and my family. The day after Asher had his hydrocele surgery I recieved a call from my sister letting me know that my brother had been found unresposive at home and had been rushed to the hospital. I packed Asher and I up and raced to Salem, VA to be with my mom, stepdad and brother. When I left the house I had hope that things may be ok. Less than an hour into my drive I recieved a call from my mom letting me know that I needed to pull over. The news was and still is devastating. I feel so very fortunate that they were able to keep Chad on life support long enough for me to get there and say goodbye. Getting to hold his hand, run my fingers through his hair, and kiss him goodbye is something that I will always cherish. The entire week still seems like a bad dream. Losing my brother, helping plan his funeral, cleaning out his apartment and helping to care for his two wonderful daughters Iliana & Raevien helped to distract me from the reality that he's really gone. I still can't process that I will never again get to hug my brother, see his infectious smile or hear his great laugh. There is an emptiness inside of me right now that I'm not sure will ever go away. It's hard to imagine my brother not being there for his daughters whom he adored and who adored him. My boys will never get to truly know their uncle. I will miss my brother everyday and he will always be in my heart.